You Avoid Small Talks: Here’s Why!

We’ve all been there: at a party, getting to know someone new, or even in our everyday lives. We exchange pleasantries and small talks, but what’s really going on behind those facades? Small talk is superficial, and it’s designed to avoid conflict. But what good is avoiding conflict if we can’t actually resolve anything? Emotionally intelligent people don’t engage in small talk because they know it doesn’t serve any purpose. If you want to build a strong connection with someone, you need to focus on the emotional side of things. Here are some reasons why emotionally intelligent people avoid small talk.

Why Small Talk Is Bad for Your Mental Health

Small talk is generally seen as a way to build relationships, but for some people, it can actually be bad for their mental health. According to research, people who do a lot of small talks are more likely to have anxiety and depression.

The reason behind this is that small talk typically involves shallow conversations that don’t really challenge or engage the person you’re talking to. This can lead to boredom and detachment from the conversation. In addition, it can also cause people to feel like they’re not good enough, which can lead to more anxiety and depression.

So if you find yourself struggling with anxiety or depression, try avoiding small talk as much as possible. Instead, focus on engaging in deep conversations that will really challenge and engage your conversation partner.

woman wants to avoid small talks
Photo by Trung Thanh on Unsplash

Why Small Talk Is a Waste of Time

Small talk is a waste of time because it doesn’t help build relationships. Emotionally intelligent people don’t do small talk because they know that building relationships requires time and effort.

Small Talk Takes Time. First of all, small talk takes time. It requires effort on the part of the person doing small talk to come up with things to say. This is especially true if the person has no real interest in the other person. Furthermore, small talk often involves trivial topics that don’t really relate to either party. As a result, it’s not likely to lead to substantive conversations or stronger relationships.

Relationships Require Time and Effort. Second of all, relationships require time and effort. You can’t just take one step forward and expect things to happen automatically. You have to put in some effort yourself in order for your relationship to progress. That’s why emotionally intelligent people don’t do small talk; they know that it takes too much time and effort to achieve lasting connections with others.

The Negative Effects of Small Talk

Small talk is a necessary evil in most social situations, but it can also have negative consequences. People who are emotionally intelligent know how to take care of themselves and don’t need small talk to feel connected. They typically enjoy deeper conversations and interactions.

People who do a lot of small talks often end up feeling anxious and artificial. They often don’t get the chance to connect with others on a deeper level because they’re always trying to be polite and engaging. This deprives them of valuable social experiences and connections.

Some people also find that small talk makes them hypersensitive to criticism, criticism that they may not deserve. They become focused on what other people say instead of focusing on the conversation itself. This can lead to inflexible thinking and bad decision-making down the line.

man covering face cause of anxios feelings from small talks
Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash

How Emotionally Intelligent People Avoid Small Talk

Small talk can be a waste of time and energy for emotionally intelligent people. Instead, they focus on building connections with others.

Emotionally intelligent people know that the best way to get to know someone is by sharing common interests and experiences. This way, the conversation flows more easily and there’s less need for small talk.

Instead of talking about the weather or their latest work project, emotionally intelligent people will ask about their partner’s day or what they’re reading. This type of conversation builds trust and understanding, which are essential ingredients for a strong relationship.


It seems that most of us are conditioned to do small talk as a way of building relationships. We’re told it’s important, and we usually believe it because it feels nice. But is that really why we do it? It turns out that emotional intelligence (EI) is the key to unlocking the real value in these conversations. When you have high EI, you don’t need to resort to small talk in order to connect with others; instead, you can focus on understanding their emotions and building a relationship based on trust and mutual respect. If you want to be an emotionally intelligent person, avoid the small talks and start connecting with people on a deeper level.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.